A journey of courage and connection: meet Caitlin, scholarship recipient

Caitlin found Kundalini Yoga in Paris, came back to it through pregnancy and a teacher next door, and is now training to teach with the help of a KYTANZ Teacher…

Caitlin is a KYTANZ Teacher Training Scholarship recipient. Here, in her own words, she shares how she came to Kundalini Yoga and what her first training module opened up.

A practice that worked where it needed to

I was introduced to Kundalini Yoga in 2018 in Paris, while I was teaching Vinyasa yoga. I thought I was really advanced on my spiritual journey, teaching Vinyasa, but when I sat on the mat and began the repetitive movements of Kundalini Yoga, paired with the breathwork and mantra, I disliked every moment. It felt like my skin was on fire with a fever. Clearly, the practice was working exactly where it needed to!

I dipped in and out of the practice over the years. It wasn’t until I fell unexpectedly pregnant (though becoming a mother had always been a wish my heart held) that I found my way back to it and truly fell in love.

A teacher next door

A series of events and a deep upheaval of the life I had built over several years in France left me single, pregnant, and moving into my parents’ home on the south coast of NSW. And, as luck would have it, the most beautiful Kundalini Yoga teacher, Akal Tera, was my neighbour!

In the goodness of her heart, and in true Kundalini spirit, she invited me to join some gentle classes she was teaching to other members of the community. She guided me through a beautiful 120th day of pregnancy ceremony, calling in the spirit of my daughter, Evangeline.

There have been moments over the past three years when I couldn’t handle where I was. I couldn’t face another moment of navigating this journey alone. It was Akal, and the practice of Kundalini Yoga she so generously gifted me, that helped me so much: to heal, to nurture, and to thrive in motherhood.

My daughter joins me in most of the classes I take. It is so special to share the practice with her, and she has sung the Adi and Heart Protection mantras perfectly since she first learned to make sounds. She is truly a Kundalini child, and I cannot wait to see how this practice shapes her life, just as it is shaping mine.

Training with Mahanraj

At one point, I asked Akal to train me, and she guided me towards Mahanraj. I met with Mahanraj and knew she was the teacher I needed. She is such a grounded, ethereal woman, and her three-module training schedule felt perfect for where I was in life. It allowed me to attend online for one week at a time without asking too much of my parents, who look after my daughter while I train.

With the goodness and grace of the KYTANZ community and a scholarship, I attended that first module with a grateful and open heart. And wow: even online, the power of the practice consumed me. It ripped me open and wrung out so much of the hurt, trauma and abuse I had endured over the last few years.

No one else can do this but you. Dive deep. Keep going.

Mahanraj

Mahanraj’s guidance is so real. Those words drove me straight into my 40-day practice immediately after the training, working with the Awakening the Ten Bodies kriya.

I surprised myself with how disciplined I was in showing up every day and getting it done, even on the days when all I wanted to do was lie in bed and not do Stretch Pose or Frog Pose (both are my nemeses).

Only just beginning

I’ve now signed up for Module Two. I hope to complete the training and eventually share this wonderful practice with communities both near and far. We are so lucky to have this online world that is so perfect for sharing the Kundalini practices.

There are lifetimes of excavating to do, and so much more to discover as I continue to dive deeper into the practices of Kundalini Yoga.

I’m only just beginning.

Caitlin

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Thinking about teacher training? The KYTANZ Teacher Training Scholarship helps trainees on their way. Find out who can apply and how.